Thursday, April 07, 2005
Al Gore Invents Internet TV
Al Gore announced plans to strike back at the digital brown-shirts by creating a new cable-news service that will allow viewers to submit their own segments. By fusing the power of the 24-hour cable news service with the potential of the internet, Gore hopes to guide Current TV on an exploration of the sweet mysteries of life. Said the former-vice-president-almost-elected-president-but-cursed-with-nightmares-of-hanging-chads, "24 hour news has done the country an invaluable public service the last few months in keeping the American public constantly updated on the subtly shifting shadows on the exterior walls of the Courthouse where the Michael Jackson trial is being held. The internet has engaged young people in a way we old fogey's never could have imagined, which is why I invented it, and has even helped fund the failure of Howard Deans candidacy. I want to bring these great achievements together in one medium, and let the people have their say."
When queried regarding any political motivations, and whether his network would try to do to Fox News what Air America has done to Limbaugh, or whether he could manage to be even less effective, Gore was defensive. "We have no intention of being a TV version of Air America. I didn't invent radio, so why would I use it? I invented the internet, so of course we really seek to be a TV version of Democratic Underground. We want every young progressive to expose *bushitler lies to the American people with witty yet logically deficient home-made videos."
(Precision Guided Humor)
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